Question: Did you attend school? Explain a story that highlights the expectations for your education. Tell a story which describes why an education was or was not important to you.
Answer: Yes, I continued my education. I looked forward to college and always planned to go. In fact, I liked college so much I went to 3 different ones, four states, and two countries to experience it. I anticipated college to be freedom and independence: to choose what I wanted to learn, to explore, and be an adventure of new experiences. I wanted to go to college because it was part of our family culture. It was always encouraged. My dad finished his degree when I was young. I loved it when he shared what he was learning and let us kids be apart of his homework, especially astronomy. As a family we would spend FHE at BYU wandering around, listening to my dad play the pianos, writing on the chalk boards, and playing tag in the tree of life. I loved the atmosphere I felt there. The idea of college was the main motivation that got me through high school.
I was so excited my freshman year about having the freedom to sign up for any class I wanted that I did. I didn’t realize the class number had any importance and unknowingly signed up for a senior level history class. I had a very supportive teacher who appreciated my enthusiasm. I kept wonderful notes and loved every minute of the class, Religion in the dark ages. He gave me a B-, but I never felt I really deserved it. I loved the small colleges most compared to the big universities. The smaller college allowed my instructors to have more of an opportunity to mentor, which meant a lot to me. I did one study abroad and one internship that took me on the adventures I was seeking. I loved my study abroad! I got to fulfill life long dreams and even get pooped on by a monkey in the rain forest.
I also wanted to prepare to become a mother, so every semester I took some sort of child development class. I have used those classes everyday since I became a mother!
I also wanted a useful skill. I choose speech therapy. I must have been more zealous then I remember because my dad had a talk with me about working outside the home being plan B and not to focus so much on plan B that I miss plan A, which was to marry and be a homemaker. College was wonderful for me. I made life long friends, expanded myself, found things I felt passionate about, and gained skills I use everyday. College exceeded my expectations.
Question: Is there an event which describes how you were treated as a young mother?
Answer: I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom. I am the oldest girl of 8 kids and had first hand experience at how awesome little ones can make a home. I wanted to raise my kids and not pay someone else to do it for me. My husband and I waited a year and a half before we had children. We were living in Utah then and people were starting to get concerned about our priorities. My brother, for example, talked with me about how children are more important than things. I still find that conversation comical and I appreciate him looking out for me. We had three children in turn and were treated like a normal little family starting out. Then we moved to Colorado. When we went out in public as a whole family, I felt like, we were a side show or a fish bowl. We were considered a cute, big family. Strangers would come up to us and make comments…some positive, some not. The most common was “wow, you have lots of helpers.” We would get at least one statement from a stranger ever grocery trip.I found these statements highly irritating because I didn’t want my kids to think for one minute that I found them overwhelming. I was pregnant when we moved and started to show. I volunteered a lot at my children’s school. The school children’s reaction to my pregnancy surprised me. Most of the children were single children or had one sibling 5 to 10 years apart. They would drill me on how many kids I already had. Then they would say things like, Wow! You are going to have another child. Why! Having kids is hard! I would smile and say it is not hard when they are good. Then I loved to watch their faces as they put two and two together and responded, Hey, I am good. I would compliment them and tell them I love my kids and love being a mom. But I would get statements like that more than three times in one recess. Grown-ups were different. I felt almost condemned for having a fourth child. I felt the attitude was: We had our boy and girl and one mistake, but with a fourth child it was on purpose and we must be irresponsible! I felt pressure to have the best groomed and behaved family because we were even more of a side show now. I felt I needed to prove that I knew what I was doing having so many kids and that mine were just has well behaved as anyone else. When we would go grocery shopping as a whole family during my last month of pregnancy, my husband would get dirty looks from people. When he wasn’t there people would give me looks of distaste. I felt like they were assuming I was a welfare mama and having more kids for the purpose of having more government support and thus more of their money. Now that my baby is here I get one comment that is Wow! you have your hands full! But ironically people will comment but no one offers to help.
My favorite story is when I was eight months pregnant, I was babysitting two little boys. We decided we would go for a walk around my neighborhood. My daughter and I would go for these walks daily. We had met a few people regularly and were always treated kindly. Peoples’ attention was the opposite when I had the two extra boys with me. We passed one older couple walking their dog. The older couples usually would make a fuss about my daughter. But with the two boys added, they looked horrified and the gentleman acted as a shield between the children and his dog. It was an over the top reaction. I couldn’t help but laugh!
My grumpiest story was a couple was walking their dog in a dog stroller. My family was walking home from church just behind them. It was a nice Sunday afternoon and a lot of people were out. I was amazed as people would stop the couple in front of us to have them open their stroller so they could see their dog and then give my family a look of contempt or apprehension. And we were even in our church clothes so we couldn’t have made too much mayhem if we wanted to. High heels are not good for running.
I have come to the this conclusion of the attitude of children here in Colorado: A child is a wonder and a joy. To raise a child is hard work. To have two or three is truly a challenge. And to have four or more borders irresponsible parenting. The children here have everything they desire from classes to toys. They spend a lot of time with adults. They are loved. A lot of the children are raised partly at day cares or by grandparents. I have not met a lot of stay at home moms. And I am simply realizing how different my priorities for myself and my children are in comparison to the masses. I still love being a stay at home mom. I feel like I haven’t missed my calling but submersing in it. Living in Colorado has made me reflect on my proprieties and be able to explain them.
History Behaved: Storytelling Project 